Poli-speak

Understanding politicians can be as difficult as trying to understand a toddler. Both of them speak in codes. Take Jeffy, for instance, with his unique speech patterns--I have known him long enough to be able to interpret him. For instance, when he says "Wha's yo numbo? I am fo-mo old!" Translation: "How old are you? I am four years old!"

Just one day to go! With a weak attempt to be light-hearted in this politically charged atmosphere, here is a glossary of 2008 campaign catch phrases. Hope you enjoy!

McCain has run a negative campaign=I was hoping that McCain would sit back and let me win!

Look at my record! Look at the issues!=Look at my record! Look at the issues! (If I have no charisma, it's because I really hate campaigning.)

It's time for change!=Please ignore my lack of experience!

Palin has no experience!=Palin is a woman!

McCain did not properly vet Palin!=McCain picked a woman!

Obama is leading in the polls!=The race is neck and neck!

He's just a guy who lives in my neighborhood.
=He's a good friend who helped launch my career.

I am finally proud of my country!=I didn't like the old Democratic way of doing things anyway.

My plan gives 95% of Americans a tax cut.=I'm lying. Please don't do the math.

Get out and vote!=but only if you're voting for me!



Whatever happens tomorrow, I will be praying for the next President of the United States of America.
Feel free to add your own definitions!